Obviously, much has changed since I last posted. Much is changing. Doesn’t it feel like the ground underfoot is shifting with every step. Doom-Scrolling became a thing, and I did my fair share of that. Daily Covid-19 updates of course but also the constant and grim headlines. Bad news came cheap. I did like the efforts of many to fill the daily news with cycles of good stories of everyday kindness. Maybe the Pandemic served to shake us up to the vulnerability that is living in the world? The world seems more precarious now. Maybe the Pandemic cracked the veneer of our simplistic assumptions? People are basically good right? Truth will always win out right? Maybe the Pandemic was an opportunity to dig deeper.
As priest I plowed ahead as best I could. Seeking to make and keep connections in place. Live-streaming prayer services and then Holy Eucharist in an empty building and at my kitchen table. That seems sort of silly now, but it was something. It was a strange place. I continue to do live streamed Evening Prayer three nights a week and we live stream our Sunday Services. It is less strange now.
I had hoped, like many at the onset of “shut-down” that people would rally together. What was it? Two or three weeks in, when the voices began. We got two or three weeks before any unity we thought we had began to crumble. Misinformation, doubt, lies, and conspiracy theory became our daily drivel. I lost two friends to the virus and many became very ill, but still the voices persisted. Well, those voices have been active throughout time. Maybe, in this respect, the Pandemic served to shine a spotlight on fanaticism? It drew a number of lines in the sand in any case. But so many died.
One thing we’ve all noticed is the drop off in attendance at church. Most of us anyway. Some surmise that we all learned some “bad” habits during the Pandemic. We picked up some habits anyway. Staying home on Sunday was a thing and people enjoyed their Sundays! Leisurely enjoying an online worship service curled up on your couch, in your PJs, with a hot cup of coffee or tea in your hand was novel and nice. This is how church should be! Comfortable and convenient is not normally what people say about their church experience. Maybe that should be part of the conversation. This Sunday’s gospel reading is from Luke 14. Jesus says, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Ouch! This doesn’t sound comfortable or convenient. However, what does it mean to be at church? So, I see more people making the choices from Sunday to Sunday and as priest I feel myself constantly pivoting around this. Why do people choose church on Sunday morning or any other time? And why do they choose something else?
Today during Morning Prayer, I paused for some time at the “Our Father”. Over the years I’ve thought about how this prayer sounds and what it means. I’ve played around with changing the words from time to time. So said every priest in the history of the episcopal church. I’ve had conversations with friends about this. Some people just don’t like the idea of messing with the language. Never mind, that Aramaic was Jesus’ first language. The prayer and the language begs some questions. For instance, “Our Father, in Heaven”. Where does God reside? I thought this time and not for the first time about the phrase, “Give us today our daily bread”. I like “Thank you for today’s blessings”. A friend shared with me a phrase he had picked up somewhere. He shared, “The feast that is to come, grant us today”. Now that is good. Do these two examples capture the meaning of Jesus’ prayer? He wasn’t merely teaching his disciples a form, was he?
There is much to think about these days. Beware of doom scrolling but be aware of what is happening in the world. Peace.
Father John P Sullivan 